Diary of a Mad Black Nurse....

So lately, I've been noticing a trend. I am always madd. I'm the type of person that, gets upset if you take too long to ring up my purchases, or give me the wrong order, or undermind me. Why? IDK! I just do. Im working on it. Been doing these weird excerise that I talk myself into calming down when I feel the need to get upset coming on.

On the other hand, I've been going through this change. This change seems to me like it can be both benificial and detrimental to others around me.
I the type of girl who shops to ease my mind, and vents in my head......... Lyrics consumes my moods and pavement eleviates some of my distress.

Til' pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost

p.s. I promise I'll come back with pictures. The digi is out of comission right now :(

Deliriums Corner

So, this is how the game works....

Group of people stand on the side lines...

Two captains are appointed.

As the crowd gets smaller in size, the captain makes their choices on who is going to be on each team. This can be based by popularity, personal gain, or likeness.

When asked who's team I want to be on, I chose........

You see I don't have any of those things. Not really that popular, have nothing to offer you, and not liked very much....So who chose me?

NO ONE.

I sit in Deliriums Corner and watch the game from the sideline. I wouldn't add my two cents as to what "play" should be played, or what strategy to use.

Ever heard the term "Go play in traffic?"

I'm there, doing that.

Til pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost.

In the Attempt

WEARING: FOREVER 21 LOVE T SHIRT. VINTAGE SHORTS (NOT SHOWN) MAC: CLARITY, AQUATIC BLUE AND STARS AND ROCKETS.
EXCUSE THE FURNITURE LESS APT.

I've been kinda MIA for the past couple of weeks in the attempt to work overtime to accomplish certain dreams. I am currently in the process of making a life altering decision and need to clear alot of things out of the way before we go on whether it a yes or no...

In other news.

I just celerbrated by birthday... I had a wonderful experience. This years theme, TAKING A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE.....

Decisions, decisions, decisions......

Okay yesterday I had a thought while I was at work. Over the years you all have come to know me as being a radical person. I usually make decisions now, then expose them later. This is pretty much going to be the same deal. I'm planning on doing all the research I can do, in finding out if this decision will be beneficial or detrimental to me and my loved ones ( not that some of you care what I do anymore). But I have actively taken a part in searching out the right answer for this one. They say to "Pray about things." Doing that. "Talk to people that is already there or been there." Doing that. "Search within yourself to see if this is what you really want to do." Doing that. I just hope that this decision will bring much happiness and no grief to those around me.
Til' pen and paper conversate,
I'm Ghost.

Love Is Pain

This statement doesn't stand for the cliche situation: relationships. I believe its true for any and everything. the most basic need of a human is to be loved. This can come in any way shape or form ( classmates, coworkers, family, etc)

I think something else falls in to this catagory also.... The things we love to do can be painful. Whether its loving to eat outgetting fat, getting your hair done= time waisted, having children=need I say more.

I think I found my painful love and don't know what to do with it.

Til pen and paper conversate,
I'm Ghost

Personality Disorder vs Alter Ego

I was chit chatting with the bestie quite sometime ago and told her I have an alter ego. Where sometimes I come off as super quiet, sometimes mean, sometimes like I have a chip on my shoulder ( because I don't walk around with a smile) and like I'm just a nervous wreck. But my alter ego is SUPER fun, outgoing, disruptive, and sometimes need to be censored because I blurt out random thoughts.

Now a coworker of mines once asked me if I'm having personality issues because it seems like when I come in with "new hair" I seem to be a new person to her. Better yet I think it was the idea that I kept going from totally different extremes with my hair. One day I'd be banged with long sleek straight hair, the next week I would be all curled out.

So whats the verdict

Til pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost

Yeah, Im talkin to you!!!!

This is just something I just gotta get off my chest. I've always told people " I can be one of the nicest people you ever meet, or I can be the biggest itch, you ever met." I say that intentionally, but its an empty threat unless you cross me. Recently I had the privilege of finding out some very important information in regards to some of my friendship. It seems that these same "friends" were the ones picking on me, and making fun of me when I was not around. Now I'm the type of person, If I love (as in cool with) you ( or maybe even just like you) I will give you the shirt off my back and the shoes off my feet just to guarantee your comfort over mines. Ive been through a tough childhood/adulthood and would shield anyone else from going through some of the things that I've been thru. But you wouldn't know that, would you? I don't hang a big banner over my head stating my series of unfortunate events because I don't feel that I need to. (Kinda like that Zoloft commercial with the sad dude with the cloud over his head.) So why in the world would you get some sick twisted joy over putting me down. I've been nothing but a friend to you. Inviting you to events that I was attending, calling just to check up on you to make sure that you was okay. Wasting 1 of 1000 text messages to find out how was your day, and what do I get in return....Crap. You are an adult... once again I ask, What joy do yo get out of it. In grade school it woulda flew because that what made some of the kids popular You'd get more friends, you get an reputation around campus so others wouldn't want to step to you. But guess what??? YOU ARE AN ADULT NOW. Theres no clicks, or in crowd in the corporate world. Its a dog eat dog world, and you can be replaced in a heart beat. Here you are making these "stories" up about so and so and so and so and trying to glam up the &h!t hole of a life you have now and you got the nerve to laugh at me???? Some one whose show diversity thru adversity and turned my life of rags to riches????That's a joke.. Better yet you are a JOKE. Some one with a Napoleon Complex who feels the need to be the life of the party.. how old are you again.. I though so.....