Acquired Indecisiveness Disorder

So me and one of my lady friends was doing the chit chat thing today. I was tellin' her how I want to go ahead and take a few model pics with a professional photographer, and the fact that the two I have in my life are.... not so much. Not that they aren't good but they be on that bouji tip when it comes to taking pics. I wanna say that I've been kinda tryna take pics for the past.... oh, year or so. But still to no avail. Well anywho, I was telling her that I wanted to take pics but knowing me, I would want to do the make up and direct the shoot. I have soooooo many ideas in my head and I feel like I get overloaded when it comes to putting them down. I have scenery, make up ideas, outfits.. everything to the T ( or should I say G) but still... I haven't done anything about it.
A couple of months ago, I decided that before I hit 25 I was going to accomplish two goals a) go to Haiti b) get my motorcycle.. Well the latter of the two ain't gonna happen because I let "New Boy." intimidate me with his stories of traumas..... Which kinda sucked... I sooo had my heart set on a crouch rocket..... and a letter jacket. So needless to say, I finalized that plan to just going to Haiti by the time I the big 2-5. But know that I think about it.. I'll go when I go.. no hurry. It will get done....
Problem #2:
I always wanted to be a Doctha growing up ( hence the name). Well... going through school, I keep "dumbing it down just because I didn't want to be the fool that spent 8 years in school only to decide.. yeah, I wanna be something else.. So of course I went through the whole career assessments, guidance counselors office and came up with these alternative careers: Psychologist, Cosmetologist, Nurse, and Writer/Artist. So I decided, since my ultimate goal is in health care, I choose nurse. That way I could get my feet wet and really decide if it was for me.. We'll I decided, MD is for me.. But that's not where my disorder kicks in. It kicks in when I realize that it gonna take me forever to finish school. By the time I graduate, you might as well stick a pair of depends on me and call it a day..... Hell by the time I'm a doctha, OBGYN TO BE EXACT, I would have already gone through menopause and wouldn't even know what a period feels like.. How am I suppose to symphatize with my patients then.... NO beueno. So
Problem #3:
One morning, I decided I wanted to go to the military. Well... now the choice is Military vs. Grad School vs. Med school.. I'm doing too much. And IDK whats the best choice to make. I wish 70's were the new 40's, then I wouldn't feel as remotely bad for being a confused child as I am.

I could go on forever with my Problem vs. Problems, but I'll end here

Til Pen and Paper Conversate,
I'm Ghost

p.s I promise, I'll be coming back with pics.. my digi is out of commish right now, and it hurts me sooo bad, cuz Im just sooo amped to share my Thrifted/Fashion World with you guyz

The mini Evolution of Me.

To whom much is given, much is required. Lately I've been bothered by the standards that some set for others and not themselves. If you're gonna set expectations for me, please check your self at the door. Double standards is not whats up. Once upon a time, I had a friend. This friend always looked down at what I did, but when it came to her actions. She saw no harm in it. I understand that as a Christina its important to lead a clean lifestyle and its also your responsiblity to spread the Word. I get that. But I believe that some where in the word it states not to judge.

"My God is my judge, no gown, no gavel."
I believe that Im also the type of person that would give you the world if Im allowed to, but when it comes to myself I always short change my self. Does that make sense??? Should it be the other way around or should it even be on the same playing field. I love to love. I remember at time when I was in love so bad that it hurt. <<>

360 Resolution

I think I know what it felt like to be in the Titanic while it drowned, or I've experienced the same emotion that a drunken mother faces when she's on rock bottom and doesn't know where her next bottle is coming from. I've been through it, still going through it, and trying to get out. It seems like bad news happens in single file. One then another then another then another....... But no worries at this point. Due to the fact that I have an exceptional crew. I was able to make it through that portion... Which allows me to place alot of things in perspectives...... People that front, gets NO WHERE.

Also, I hope to get through the hate I instilled in my heart for certain individuals....

IN OTHER NEWS:

here are some things I have lined up:

-Find another productive past time

-Start my locs

- Buy a sewing machine

-Fix my camera

I hope this week leads me to good spirits.

Diary of a Mad Black Nurse....

So lately, I've been noticing a trend. I am always madd. I'm the type of person that, gets upset if you take too long to ring up my purchases, or give me the wrong order, or undermind me. Why? IDK! I just do. Im working on it. Been doing these weird excerise that I talk myself into calming down when I feel the need to get upset coming on.

On the other hand, I've been going through this change. This change seems to me like it can be both benificial and detrimental to others around me.
I the type of girl who shops to ease my mind, and vents in my head......... Lyrics consumes my moods and pavement eleviates some of my distress.

Til' pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost

p.s. I promise I'll come back with pictures. The digi is out of comission right now :(

Deliriums Corner

So, this is how the game works....

Group of people stand on the side lines...

Two captains are appointed.

As the crowd gets smaller in size, the captain makes their choices on who is going to be on each team. This can be based by popularity, personal gain, or likeness.

When asked who's team I want to be on, I chose........

You see I don't have any of those things. Not really that popular, have nothing to offer you, and not liked very much....So who chose me?

NO ONE.

I sit in Deliriums Corner and watch the game from the sideline. I wouldn't add my two cents as to what "play" should be played, or what strategy to use.

Ever heard the term "Go play in traffic?"

I'm there, doing that.

Til pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost.

In the Attempt

WEARING: FOREVER 21 LOVE T SHIRT. VINTAGE SHORTS (NOT SHOWN) MAC: CLARITY, AQUATIC BLUE AND STARS AND ROCKETS.
EXCUSE THE FURNITURE LESS APT.

I've been kinda MIA for the past couple of weeks in the attempt to work overtime to accomplish certain dreams. I am currently in the process of making a life altering decision and need to clear alot of things out of the way before we go on whether it a yes or no...

In other news.

I just celerbrated by birthday... I had a wonderful experience. This years theme, TAKING A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE.....

Decisions, decisions, decisions......

Okay yesterday I had a thought while I was at work. Over the years you all have come to know me as being a radical person. I usually make decisions now, then expose them later. This is pretty much going to be the same deal. I'm planning on doing all the research I can do, in finding out if this decision will be beneficial or detrimental to me and my loved ones ( not that some of you care what I do anymore). But I have actively taken a part in searching out the right answer for this one. They say to "Pray about things." Doing that. "Talk to people that is already there or been there." Doing that. "Search within yourself to see if this is what you really want to do." Doing that. I just hope that this decision will bring much happiness and no grief to those around me.
Til' pen and paper conversate,
I'm Ghost.