Dr. Wendy Presiding

So.. I recently noticed a trend in my incoming calls lately. On the other line I had a friend who was always divulging problems about Person XYZ, or Situation ABC. I could do nothing but oblige to listen attentively and give my 3.5 cents. Whether they decided to listen to me or not was a different matter. My patient left in confidence that new light was shed upon the once hard situation and was able to tackle the problem head on with the verbal courage dished out by yours truly. But, the question is: Who listens to me? Who's couch do I have the privilege to lay on when I feel like I need some verbal stamina? Who dissects my story and places it in perfect order so I may be able to conquer my fears. Last night I was asked what is my biggest fear. I chose not to answer the question because once your fear is spoken, it may be brought to life. REJECTION. I've turned My biggest fear into a list of fears. NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH. I've always tried to manage and build up coping mechanisms that would help me to provide tangible evidence that I am a strong woman. BEING BELITTLED. But the fact of the matter is: I AM NOT.

WEARING RANDOM FOREVER 21 TSHIRT.

Til pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost

Neglectin' to Respect

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Days before I decided to cut my hair, I decided to do a mess side sweep.

So then there was the time where I though growing up respect meant something. Now, it seems like just a word that ppl use just to "make you feel good."

I have always tried to be a good example to my siblings growing up. I fought tooth and nail to find the last one to my missing puzzle only to realize that, she didn't feel the same.

So then theres the other siblings I grew up around. The younger ones were always close to me. I was known as "the cool big sister." Now things have changed. Puberty kicked in, breast rose, hair grew where there was none before and I am left forgotten..... now Im know as the "the stanger." Interesting how the tables have turned.

13-5=8. Its all good, I have eight more I can worry about!!!!!!

Til pen and paper conversate,

I'm Ghost

wearing: forever 21 silk blazer. plain wife beater, AIDS awareness pin, and forver 21 pleated wrap skirt.

Birds of a Feather????

I can count my friends on one hand.........

So why the grief? I'd like to think of myself as someone who is considerate of others feelings. Meaning if you don't look right or I don't agree with what you are saying or doing, or if you DISRESPECT me, I'm not gonna call you out in front of every Tom, Dick or Harry to embarrass you. I'd rather wait until we are behind closed doors to let you know that's not cool....... SO I ask again..... WHY THE GRIEF?

WHISPERING: IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING????


WEARING: THIRTED TURLENECK.

Solitude Confines Me

So Im minding my business at work today, doing my same ole, same ole. AND IT HITS ME....
i MIGHT die an old lonely woman. The thought kind of disturbed me because here I am with friends who have the wonderful blissful interactions, and where am I at: NOTHING. I feel like im the constant link when it comes to conflict. Why is that. Its not like Im the "all in your face type of girl." Im usually chillin in the background when things go down. Then theres the perception thing....................... Why I gotta come off as a BITCH just cuz I don't smile. I DON'T OWE THAT TO NO ONE BUT MYSELF..... dang.. Its hard being black at a time like this.....

So its going on 1 month 1/2 of no hair...... At times I feel like my feminity is gone.....Going out with the homies I gotta work extra hard to play my part because I can't do the whole jean and t shirt bit... I gotta go all out....


day one march 2, 2009



april 17,2009

So excited. I bought a new shirt at Goodwill for 1.84, and that was half price... ( Go me, go me {silently doing the cabbage patch})

Til pen and paper conversate, I'm Ghost..........................................